Yoga, Breathwork, and Mindful Presence May Have Saved My Life This Week

I drove to New Jersey on Sunday to help my sister who was scheduled for surgery two days later. I’ve made the drive several times in the past few years and had no worries about the trip. Armed with my water bottle and a podcast playlist, I was actually looking forward to cruising up I-95 and embracing my sis in a COVID-free hug at journey’s end.

I smiled sweetly as I approached Baltimore, my gaze briefly cast toward the skyline of my first Southern home. As my mind flipped through memories of graduate school and first solo living gigs, the wheels of my car entered bore 4 of the Baltimore Harbor Tunnel at 55 miles per hour. Mental checklist: stay in your lane, yup there’s lots of cars, just drive.

And then I felt I was about to die.

An immense pressure crushed my chest. My arms and legs began to tingle. I felt my head separate from my body as if it were a helium balloon, light and airy, seeking to float away. Agitation filled every cell of my body. What the f*&k?? Am I dying??

A cue to take a slow, full breath. An instinctive move to blast the AC and roll down a window. Utter fear back now. I might pass out. I’m going to wreck my car. Breathe. The light. The light at the end of the tunnel. Keep breathing. You’re almost there. Another breath. And another. I see the light.

I think I had my first panic attack beneath the Baltimore Harbor.

I’ve never felt the combination of feelings I described above and I’ve never been afraid of driving through tunnels. I’m not a fan of laying in the tube for an MRI (and am eternally grateful for open MRIs!), but this panic on the highway was no joke.

What I marvel at when I reflect on my terror in the tunnel is how my body knew exactly what to do in a moment of stress. I credit my decades of practicing yoga, breathwork, and mindfulness meditation for this wisdom. I was somehow able to remain present to driving a motor vehicle safely while tuning deeply inward to the sensations in my body. Instinct took over when my brain was flailing.

This is why I teach my style of yoga. Gentler, slower, more mindful movement trains the body and brain to focus and to deepen presence. Moments of pause and ample time for integration and stillness in Savasana invite the nervous system to downregulate, offering calming balance to all the time we spend activated in fight or flight mode.

This is also why I am a BodyMind Coach. So much of what guides us resides in the wisdom of our bodies. When we can learn to see and access that deep knowing, we can make incredibly aligned choices for how we move forward.

In this time of heightened global anxiety, I know for a fact that most of us are feeling unsettled, disheartened, and hopeless. You might even be on the verge of your own panic attack. I’m right there with you. If you need support, I am here. Try one of my yoga classes. Book a 1:1 yoga session (the time is yours and personalized to your needs in the moment). Sign up for a workshop. For personalized support over a longer period of time, book a coaching clarity call to see if we're a good fit to help you achieve your goals.

Now back to my drive. Once my heart rate calmed down, I phoned my sister for a quick debriefing to tell her what had happened. We were able to lighten the mood with a little laughter and the edginess subsided. I stopped at a rest area to ground into my body and the earth. The remainder of my drive was thankfully uneventful.

I probably don’t need to state the obvious, but it felt awesome to arrive safely at my sister’s place and hold her close. I skipped the tunnel on the drive back to Maryland yesterday and enjoyed an extra 15 minutes of autumn leaf peeping on my fully above ground route home.

Upcoming Events

Gentle Yoga Flow (appropriate for newbies and beyond), Wednesdays and Thursdays at 1:00 pm; Saturdays at 10:00 am

Virtual Vision Board Workshop, January 2, 2021 1:30 p.m.