True confession time:

I spent the winter completely burned out.

And you know what? It's ok. I'm ok.

One thing that hit home for me during my recent prolonged months of sofa surfing and Netflix binging after work was a sense of urgency I was feeling in the rest of the world.

Honestly, I just couldn't keep up. Being fully reintegrated after 2 years of constant pandemic-related shifts just didn't happen for me like it seemed to happen for others around me.

Old Jen would have berated herself for not "pushing through" and rushing to the feel good finish line.

New Jen feels different.

Maybe it's midlife wisdom. Maybe I just don't care as much what everyone else is up to socially.

Maybe I was straight up tired, no chaser.

This past winter I made a BIG choice:

Slow. The. Fuck. Down.

For me, STFD looks like taking a hike BEFORE my work day begins and pausing to take photos of waterfalls (see below). It looks like letting the dishes sit dirty in the sink overnight so I can watch a show with my kids.

STFD also looks like salsa dancing ONLY when I feel 100% on my game (because really, who wants to dance with half-ass Jen who is too tired to smile?).

My wintertime of slowing down also included more frequent or longer appointments with my healing team to deeply experience rest and inner connection to my own needs.

Perhaps the biggest reason I've elected to STFD is this: I don't want to be so exhausted that I miss the "lasts" my high school senior Jude will experience as graduation approaches.

In a few short months I will be an empty-nester. I have mixed feelings about this.

But one thing is crystal clear: if I keep rushing through life, I'm going to miss a heck of a lot of sweetness along the way.

I finally feel resourced enough to rejoin the world...within reason. I'm slowly saying "yes" to outings and giving myself loving permission to change my mind.

This spring, as the birds joyfully tweet and the trees burst into bloom ask yourself, "At what pace would my personal blossoming feel best to and for me?"

Please STFD enough to feel the answer.

Love,

Jennifer (she/her)

P. S.: A 90-minute massage is a great way to STFD! With more time to settle in and let your nervous system downregulate, you might experience healing on a deeper level. There's only one way to find out!