‘Tis Good to Give and to Receive

I know many souls whose life mission is to give. While there is such beauty in generosity, when left unchecked over-givers can find themselves depleted and resentful. As a mom and natural-born giver I know the happiness that giving creates inside my heart as well as the exhaustion and discontent of sharing from an empty tank.

I am in no way poo-pooing extending our time, talents, and gifts to others within reason. Still, I’ve noticed that some of us excessively give and I often wonder why. Is it because we like to be in charge or to feel a sense of control? Are we giving in order to be recognized by someone else because we feel emotional emptiness in our heart? Do we perpetually give as a buffer to facing our own stuckness, pain, or struggles?

While healthy levels of giving can boost mood-enhancing neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin, it’s imperative that we also derive those benefits through receiving. Because receiving requires a level of openness, it can be an act of vulnerability and vulnerability doesn’t often feel good. Unless you’re a wide receiver in the NFL, being receptive also requires you to slow down and that in and of itself is a tough draw for so many of us. Very often I hear that the invitation to receive starts a cascade of “buts” and gremliny voices that say things like “I’m not worthy to receive,” “it’s selfish to receive,” or “my faith tells me ‘tis better to give than to receive.’” Even I struggle with this at times.

In her article titled “Learning to Receive: 5 Steps to Opening Up,” Karen Mead writes about her own difficulties receiving. She shared this wisdom and it really struck a chord in me:

“‘Give’ feels like an action word; ‘receive’ feels like something passive. Yet I can see how mistaken I am. Giving and receiving are yin and yang, the equivalent of the infinity symbol—looping back and forth, neither side larger than the other, both integral to the larger whole.”

Learning to receive is not only necessary for your personal balance and well-being, but is a powerful way to fortify your connection to the world around you. When you receive the gifts of a giver with gratitude, be it a compliment, a favor, or a meal, you build bonds that positively impact your health and theirs.

One way I am deepening my gratitude practice is to strengthen my capacity to receive. I say “yes” when my daughter offers to make the run to the store or to drive her brother somewhere. I receive the physical signals of soreness or fatigue in my body as a nudge to slow down and rest. Sometimes my yoga practice is a long Savasana, laying on my mat, being receptive to stillness. To the stranger in the elevator who recently complimented my hair, I said, "thank you." These moments of receiving fill my cup so I can shine my goodness out into the world from a space of overflowing abundance.

What if YOU gave from a place of overflowing abundance? What would that feel like?

This week, I’d like you to practice receiving and notice how it feels in your body to do so. Baby-step your way forward if the mere thought of receiving pushes your buttons. You might start by receiving the beauty of a sunrise or sunset. Receive a friend’s invitation for a walk. Savor that first sip of coffee in the morning, receiving the warmth and flavor on your tongue. If someone offers to clean your gutters, say “yes please” with an open heart (and then send that person my way!)

I really LOVE hearing from you! How did receiving feel? Did you notice resistance in your body when receiving? Did your heart swell with happiness? Was it difficult to receive? What kind of support do you need to help you receive more?

‘Tis truly good to give AND to receive. Go forth and receive, with gratitude.

With caring,

Jennifer

Upcoming Events

Gentle Yoga Flow, Wednesday, Thursday, & Saturday

In my gentle yoga flow classes THIS WEEK, we will practice receiving through mudra (hand gestures) and intention. Classes are Wednesday and Thursday at 1:00 p.m. ET and Saturday at 10:00 a.m. ET.

Gentle Yoga for Sweet Slumber, Sunday, November 22, 2020

7:30 p.m.

Part easy, breezy, gentle movement / part restorative poses to calm the body and mind and prepare you for restful sleep. Bring 2 pillows and a blanket to class. Suitable for ALL levels, all abilities, all energy levels. Bring your beautiful self to class! {I also highly recommend going from this practice to a screen-free closing of your day.}