It's a big week for the Brennans.

After 18 months of varying degrees of isolation, Kid 1 is headed off to college on Friday and Kid 2 back to high school next week. Fingers crossed they'll both be able to remain IN school and enjoy some semblance of normalcy with their peers.

It is said that from the day you become a parent, you are practicing letting go. Never were more truthful words spoken. Every stage of development is a shift from what was to what is. Just as you acclimate to the new, the new becomes something different and you settle in for a short spell before the next change.

Even with 18 years of practice, transitions stir up so many dang feelings. This week, I'm vacillating between joy and deep sorrow. I laugh-cry as I thumb through old photos of my "little" kids, feeling deep in my belly poignant moments of their lives as if I were right back in them. Maddie's huge then-brown eyes alive with life and curiosity as we played in our sunroom. Jude's fascination with kicking "dusty dirt" and squirting the garden hose as he imagined himself a fireman. As I dab my misty eyes, I think, "Can I have one more day (or week) of cuddling their chubby bodies and sniffing their sweet baby heads?"

Though I've been amicably divorced for many years and have been "an empty nester" every other week, the bigger-scale change that's about to drop feels really heavy. My body aches. My right shoulder burns. I'm not sleeping well. I cry one minute and then squabble with my kids the next. Sometimes it is so overwhelming that I shut everything down and just sit on my couch, staring at the wall, listening to my breath, letting myself be held by the cushions.

I'm also holding on to the good feels of happy recent events. Jude making the Varsity soccer team at his high school after a summer of self-directed workouts and and tough competition at tryouts. Maddie's graduation day in June (photo above) and how grateful I am that Bob and I co-parent with such ease and kindness toward one another. Lighthearted, but serious safe sex talks with the kids which included practice time rolling condoms onto and off of bananas.

We are all riding the waves of constant change. I'd like to invite each of you to be present to the feeling side of your life's movements. Let yourself rant and rave. Allow yourself time to sob. Give yourself permission to feel YOUR pain without belittling it or telling yourself that someone else has it worse than you do so you should just buck up camper. Bullshit. Feel your feelings. Be real.

Letting myself be beautifully human today (please pass the tissues because I cried while typing most of these words),

Jennifer (she/her)

This week in my Virtual Gentle Yoga classes, we are focusing on what's right and letting go of self-judgment.

Wednesday @ 1 p.m. ET

Thursday @ 7:45 am. ET

Register here!