Defining success is a very personal endeavor. For some, it’s about attaining a specific goal, like earning a 6-figure salary or buying a vacation home. Others might define success by having a strong marriage or partnership. Browse the self-help section of any bookseller and you’ll find hundreds, if not thousands, of titles touting all the ways to pave the road to success.

When I was a new, overwhelmed mom, I had a conversation with my childhood friend Karen (a mama of 4) who shared her then definition of success: “If we’re all still breathing at the end of the day, it’s a success.” There is such beautiful wisdom in that statement!

In work I’ve done with coaches over the years, and in my current coaching certification studies, success has always been a topic of discussion. My understanding of success has changed as I have evolved, shifting from an end-goal focus toward more deeply embracing the process of change. I’m concerned less about winning the shiny trophy and more about playing the game.

For me, defining success begins with knowing how I want to feel.

My most desired life feeling is EASE. Let me clarify that ease does not mean easy! My quest for ease requires empowered, committed effort on a daily basis. When faced with having to choose or trouble shoot, I explore how I can find, feel, or create the most ease around the issue at hand. Then I step forward.

Here’s what helps me lead a more ease-filled, and therefore, successful life.

Daily Self-Reflection. Upon waking, I drink a glass of water while I brew coffee. Mug in hand, I sit quietly, often outside, and awaken slowly. This first 30-60 minutes of me time is non-negotiable and became a habit decades ago. Most mornings I journal and write a gratitude list. On other days the sunrise is too captivating to miss and I just sit. It’s during this period of stillness that I feel into how the day is going to flow. If I didn’t sleep well, it’s likely the day ahead will be more challenging and I can plan how I’ll gracefully meet the bumps in the road. If energy is flowing and I feel upbeat, I might tackle a wish list or a project that needs 100% of my focus. And every day, I ask myself, “What do I need in order to feel ease today? What does my body, my mind, my spirit, and my whole being need in order to feel light?”

Movement. My body finds ease through fluid movement. Wandering through the trees on a woodsy walk, dancing in my kitchen while cookies bake in the oven, or unrolling my yoga mat for a few sun salutations often help uplift my energy or unravel restrictions in my physical body. Movement also brings buried emotions to the surface, improves my mental clarity, and helps me own my stress so it doesn’t own me.

Clear Boundaries. Establishing and keeping healthy boundaries has helped me feel more at ease. When I prioritize filling my cup before all else, I can be more generous with the energy I offer to others. This means I say “no” to offers and opportunities that feel heavy or burdensome and “yes” to things that fill me with lightness or excitement. Having clear boundaries also keeps me aligned with my core values and shows others how empowering wholesome boundaries can be.

What's your definition of success? Fill in the blanks!

I feel successful when _________________. The quality I most desire to feel in my life is ______________________.

I'd love to hear how you define success! If you have any strategies that help you feel successful, please share them with me!

{Since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic, I have offered yoga classes to those facing financial hardship free of charge. I will continue to do so until our economy stabilizes. If you have the means and wish to support my work serving others, your donations are gratefully accepted and are put to use helping our community manage stress, calm anxiety, and stay healthy. From the bottom of my heart, thank you!}